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| I am abstaining from facebook for a week. Why, you ask? I have been spending more time on facebook playing time wasting games than anything else and I am done with it. I am no longer a slave to facebook - though it has been prosposed that we start our own country on facebook or have facebook be our own country or something to that effect. I will not permanently eschew facebook. I will slowly and deliberately go on for short periods of time; however, I will refrain from the games that have previously monopolized my time. I will check my inbox, poke people, update my status, write notes (occasionally), comment on other peoples' notes and status' and pictures, etc., but that is all. I am not one to conform and it stops now. | | |
| There are some who find me rather strange - not the least being that I love rainy days. This week has been overcast and/or rainy every day. It's been cold and blustery as well, not exactly to my liking; but hey, life's not perfect, right? So, what did I do this week? In keeping with the weather, I watched several dark and/or depressing movies, except for Sunday. Sunday - I went to church; went over to Tim and Cassie's for lunch and left around 11:00 p.m. Cassie, Leighton and I played Phase 10 outside while Tim and Jonathan threw a football around. The sound effects from the front yard were very entertaining. We then watched The Shadow with Alec Baldwin while we ate dinner - chicken and dumplings made by Cassie, yum! Monday - I walked down to Leighton's around one in the afternoon where he, Jonathan and I watched our first set of dark and depressing movies: Revolutionary Road and The Machinist. We then went to annoy Tim and Cassie. Tim and Jonathan played the Wii, while Leighton and I engaged in a very heated and trash talking game of Phase 10. During our second game (the first of which I had won), Cassie came home from work and proceded to play Bejeweled. Leighton won the second round. The tie breaker was very intense...neck-and-neck in points, phase for phase...in came down to the last phase - 10 points apart - when he went out and stuck me with 90 points. But I'm not bitter...of course. I went home around midnight that night. Tuesday - I walked down to Leighton's where he, Jonathan and I watched our third installment of dark and depressing movies: Sophie's Choice with Meryl Streep and Kevin Kline - a very young Kevin Kline. That was one intense movie. Then the three of us, along with Tim, headed for a farewell/birthday party and Bible study thing in Chatty. Cassie came from work - so arrived after we had. The four of them were the only people I knew and those who know me know how uncomfortable I must have felt. I practically shadowed them all night. I always had at least one of them in my sights at all times. There was this guy who started a conversation while Tim, Leighton and I were playing War with my Peanuts playing cards. Apparently he likes to bring up controversy in conversation by throwing out questions and pushing for an answer and then throwing it back in your face. I hate being put on the spot. I can never think when that happens. I took an immediate dislike to the guy and really wanted him to go away - quickly. He didn't, however, and continued to make things uncomfortable. Thankfully, the three of us - Tim, Leighton and myself - left very shortly after. We hung out for a while - talking - before I went home sometime after midnight. Wednesday - not a very interesting day. I went to the bank and then to Bi-Lo to grocery shop. I always forget that I have to carry back whatever I buy. My backpack was heavier than it had ever been - maybe I shouldn't have bought all that juice? I barely made it back to my apartment with my shoulders intact. At least it hadn't been raining while I was walking. Thursday - I walked down to Leighton's for the last installment of movie watching - by this time Jonathan had returned home - he had been visiting for a few days. We watched Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe with Elizabeth Taylor - the first Liz Taylor movie I've ever seen and man, was it intense through the whole movie. To bring a little levity afterwards, we watched an episode or two of Will & Grace. Before we started the last movie, we along with Tim, went on a little excursion to Wal-Mart where I ended up buying License to Kill with Timothy Dalton. It's one of my favorite Bond movies. We ended with I've Loved You So Long with Kristin Scott Thomas - it was completely in French with English subtitles. I managed to catch all the dialogue. I was very proud of myself. In the middle of the movie, Hannah and Michelle stopped by, saying they had been to my apartment intent on kidnapping me. Since, we were in the middle of a movie, they went they're way and we finished the movie. I highly recommend it. I recommend all the movies we watched; however, you must be in the mood for those kinds of movies to fully appreciate them. After the movie, we went to bug Tim and to return a movie I had borrowed from him. After about twenty minutes of awkward silences punctuated by stilted conversation, I went home, made dinner and watched my new Bond movie. Friday - I spent most of my time on campus using the Internet (being on Facebook, basically). There were athletes everywhere and they had moves the big couch into the Game Room to sit on to watch sports. When I finally went back to my apartment and fixed dinner, I decided to finish transferring a story of mine from hard copy to computer. I finally went to bed at 4 in the morning. And now, Saturday - the last day of Break. I spent most of today on campus again, using the Internet. There's apparently a wedding taking place on campus. I went to the ladies's restroom in the Student Center on the second floor and encounter several young men changing into tuxs. To say I was surprised to see them is an understatement. ANd, now, after this post, I shall away to my apartment to fix dinner, wash dishes and whittle away the hours in frivolous movie watching instead of doing homework - after all, it is still Break, for another day at least. | | |
| This semester I am taking beginning weight training, beginning tennis and bowling. The only day I get a break is Friday. I have always wanted to be more active, get into a weight training routine and so on. I just never thought my body would mutiny. I've passed every history quiz so far, but fell short in Nutrition. Practically 1/4 of my grade in Politics, Philosophy and Economics is participation, which is difficult seeing as I don't participate, not in class anyway. I clam up. I get shaky. I get tunnel vision. My last semester - Lord willing, I will graduate finally. I wake up at 6 every morning and prepare to walk up the hill for my 8 o'clock classes. At the end of the day, I do homework, watch a movie or two and then go to bed early around 10. That's my day. Not very interesting at all, but in some ways I enjoy the simplicity of it. When one wants time to pass quickly, time seems to drag. I want to graduate and begin the great yawning deep of uncertainty in the real world. But, when that happens, won't I just long to be back in college where life was structured and simple? More than likely, yes. Well, I must go. Work in almost over. Adieu!
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| I am back for my last semester of college. I am looking forward to graduating and at the same time I am terrified of what comes after it. What does come after graduation? Uncertainty? Unemployment? Living back at home? All of the above! It's not enough to have an idea - to have dreams of what you're life will entail after graduation. What matters is having the means to make those ideas and dreams a reality. I have always talked about how much I enjoyed living on my own - having my own apartment for a semester, having a room to myself on campus for a semester - it was all great because I was used to being alone and if I didn't want to be alone, I had friends who were not very far away to lessen that loneliness. I am once again in my own apartment for my last semester. Hardly any friends to speak of on campus and the few who do live around here that I can and have hung out with all have jobs. They are in the working world and play time comes only when they have time for it in their busy schedules, which I completely understand and do not begrudge them their careers. I am very happy for them, in fact. The good thing about my situation is that it is preparing me for life after graduation when I may have to move for a job and may not have anyone near enough to spend time with. With no internet in my apartment and no land line and no cell phone, I am pretty much cut off from everything and everyone. It's like that Simon & Garfunkle song: "I am an island." But don't worry, I have no intentions of burning any of the bridges that connect me to all the other islands. And now I must away to my domicile and finish unpacking and setting things to rights (I've been reading Emma by Jane Austen. Can you tell?) | | |
| One of my favorite young adult authors is Cameron Dokey. She wrote several historical fiction books that I enjoy. I just found another series by her called the Once Upon A Time series where she retells certain fairy tales: Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Rapunzel, etc. I've finished four out of the five that I checked out from the library and they all have the same theme: To truly know yourself you must know what is truly in your heart. There was one called The Storyteller's Daughter, which is a retelling of The Arabian Nights. It taught that to truly love you must be able to see what is in the heart of the one you love and be able to be vulnerable enough to let the one you love see what is in your heart. Of course, when you open up to other people, you give them a glimpse of your heart and with everyone you get close to you give away a little piece of your heart. How can you give your whole heart to just one person (faith and religion aside) when you allow others you meet along the way residence inside as well? Or maybe it's just a metaphor for allowing that one person you spend the rest of your life with the biggest piece of your heart? I wish that I could say that I have done enough soul searching this summer to say that I have discovered who I truly am inside. I tend to shy away from what's in my heart out of fear. I am reminded of a quote from a favorite science fiction series of mine: "My heart and I don't talk any more."
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